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Apr 10, 2004
testing testing 1-2-3
Posted at 07:26 am by Janessa
Feb 8, 2004
 TEAM WORK!! Posted at 05:43 am by Janessa
Feb 4, 2004
 (max and ziggy)
 (emma)
 <> my dogs puppies and my other dogs(emma again)
 my dogs puppy (sky)
 (T.J.)
 <> cookie
 <> maky
 << Kaylee and lee
 <> Fugde and zilla
 (right)lizzie(female), (left)david (male)
 <> i got a mouse (mankie)
 (jaylees babies)
 <> my hamsters (left) male Friday and (right) Jaylee Posted at 04:00 pm by snake_eyes
Jan 31, 2004
wild horse
There was this blonde who always wanted a chance to ride a horse. Finally she got a chance. she went out to the corral and, looking over the choices, picked out the biggest most beautiful one of all.
as soon as she got in the saddle, BAM the horse took off like all of hades was after it. The blonde wasn't set yet, and started screaming as she slid down the side of the horse. HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she screamed, as her hold kept slipping closer and closer to the pounding hooves "I know" she said, "I'll jump clear", but when she jumped, her foot got caught in the saddle straps and was draged by the runaway horse, her head boucing on the ground. Just as she was about to pass out,................
..........the Wal-mart clerk unpluged the mechanical horse.
Posted at 05:09 pm by Janessa
One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror.
The brunette goes first.
"I think I'm the smartest woman on earth."
"POOF!" She disappears. The redhead goes up to try.p>"I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth."
"POOF!" She disappears.
The blonde goes up.
"I think--"
"POOF!
Posted at 05:03 pm by Janessa
Of all the friends I've ever met,
You're the one I won't forget.
And if I die
Before you do
I'll go to heaven
And wait for you
Back their wings
And risk the loss
Of everything
Just to prove
My friendship is true
I'm thankful to have
a girl friend like you!
Posted at 11:01 am by snake_eyes
Jan 30, 2004
picture and joke of the day
PICTURE
 MARS
JOKE
Posted at 02:43 pm by Janessa
Posted at 02:36 pm by Janessa
 and i would never tell anyones secret Posted at 02:32 pm by Janessa
Fun Things to Do In A Mall or Department Store
1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pool.
2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.
5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream, “My shoelaces! Augh!”
6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles.
7. Teach pets store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsellable.
8. Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King...
9. ...but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they’re “astronaut food.”
10. Follow patrons of B. Dalton’s around while reading aloud from Dianetics.
11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.
12. Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it’s a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, “You mean you really can’t see it?”
13. Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of Sears.
14. Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a fashion dummy in clothes departments, occasionally screaming without warning.
15. Test mattresses in your pajamas.
16. Ask the tobacconist if his hovercraft is full of eels.
17. If you’re patient, start intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking from side to side.
18. Sprint up the down escalator.
19. Stare at the static on a display TV and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the “hidden picture.”
20. Ask an appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
5. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
6. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
7. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible, “I smell sex and candy.”
8. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in housewares,” and see what happens.
9. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn then all off and turn the volumes to 10.
10. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
11. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
12. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles.
13. Put M&Ms on layaway.
14. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
15. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
16. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
17. Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
18. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
19. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
20. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battle field with G. I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
21. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
22. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
23. Switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the restrooms.
24. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from “Mission Impossible.”
25. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
26. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.
27. Hide in the clothing racks and when the people browse through, say things like “Pick me, pick me!” and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
28. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”
29. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
30. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Fun Things to Do to Annoy People
1. Leave to copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to others.
5. Sing along at the opera.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
7. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the world “in accordance with prophecy.”
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hand over your ears.
13. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. don t use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?”, “What?”, “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual massage.”
30. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”
33. Tell your friends 4 days prior that you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
34. Send this list to everyone in your address book.
FUNNYS
. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their questions with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition, ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT SYSTEM.
11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter "p."
16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If asked "Would you like drinks with that?", panic and become disoriented.
21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of
relief.
31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i"
sound.
32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order taker's voice.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and
didn't mean it.
56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
62. Try to talk while drinking something.
63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
66. Be vague in your order.
67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
79. Put them on hold.
80. Teach the order taker a scret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
84. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
85. Haggle.
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87. Order term life insurance.
88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
92. Engage in some serious swapping.
93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza.
98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.
If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker,
100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."
Posted at 04:56 pm by lacrosse101
Posted at 01:36 pm by Janessa
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and these are the funniest pics ever
Hey
THIS A PIC OF ME, WELL NO EXACTLY I LOOK LIKE HIM JUST LIGHTER HAIR
